Be Present

“We live only now. Everything else is either passed or is unknown.” - Marcus Aurelius

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get lost in our worries about the past and future. We can become so consumed by regret about things we did or didn't do in the past or anxiety about what's to come that we forget to live in the present moment. However, being present and focusing on the present moment can profoundly impact our well-being and happiness.

When we focus on the present, we can fully engage with our surroundings and the people around us. We become more aware of the beauty in the world, the sensations in our bodies, and the emotions we are experiencing. Being present allows us to develop a deeper appreciation for our lives and the people in them.

The past has already been written and can’t be undone. Anything the past produces, good or bad, is already set to make an impact, and no way to go back and change how things went and how things could be done differently.

Inversely, we don’t know what the future holds, for it is not yet written. So what happens a year, a month, tomorrow, or even the next couple of hours from now is all up to fate and the actions and choices we make right now in the present.

There are two thoughts to this. First, embrace what has happened and accept the consequences in the current moment, and then use your will and judgment to dictate how those consequences impact you right now to steer the ship where you want towards the future. You may not know where the boat is going with your actions, but if the intent and your virtues steer the ship, the chances towards growth and a better life are within reach.

But then again, you can’t get hung up on how this impacts the future since you don’t know what the future looks like. And that’s okay. Let now be the time to pay attention to and live according to your morals and what you want out of life.

Life will figure itself out in the end and be the ultimate deciding factor in what happens, but at least you’ll know that you did your absolute best and were fully intent on every action and decision you made in what you can control: the present.

The Best Kind of Revenge

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” - Marcus Aurelius

My life has been littered with bullies and with people who attempt to do wrong to me. People who enjoy bringing others down in order to lift themselves up and feel superior then to those around them.

Whether it was at the playground or at the workforce looking to showcase my flaws and weaknesses, I always believed that the best way to handle these kinds of people is to fight back, to hit harder than they hit me.

As the old saying goes, to fight fire with fire.

And that may be true, but perhaps it is a different kind of fire. A fire not of anger or resentment, but of wanting to lead by example and showcase what qualities are supposed to be on display even in these difficult situations.

I would hear versions of this growing up as a catholic of phrases like turn the other cheek and love your enemies. All beautiful sayings but was difficult for me to understand what I was supposed to do next. Yes, I should forgive those that have done me wrong, but how and what do I do after I have forgiven someone?

To not be like them.

To find the alternative to their anger and negative energy and flip it on them with compassion and kindness. By putting this kind of positive energy into the world, you are combating the fear and division that the other is creating and allowing good to triumph over evil.

This is not to say that you should be doing this to prove someone wrong or to showcase someone else’s flaws. You should be doing this because you WANT to do this. Because it is within your nature to be kind and caring for others.

One last thought on the person you are looking to “take revenge” on, the vast majority of people who hurt someone hurt themselves. Negative energy spreads fast and if someone is being mean or unkind to you, that is probably because someone else was being mean and hurtful to them and they are just passing it on to you. Not with intent, but as a way to funnel that anger into something or into someone else.

This is by no means an excuse, but this fact should give you the empathy needed to be there for the person rather than against them. To know that they are hurting too and these hurtful moments are cries for help.

Take care of those around you and if you see someone treat you poorly, be a vessel for them to open up and respond with love and generosity. They need it a lot more than you think.