Be Present

“We live only now. Everything else is either passed or is unknown.” - Marcus Aurelius

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get lost in our worries about the past and future. We can become so consumed by regret about things we did or didn't do in the past or anxiety about what's to come that we forget to live in the present moment. However, being present and focusing on the present moment can profoundly impact our well-being and happiness.

When we focus on the present, we can fully engage with our surroundings and the people around us. We become more aware of the beauty in the world, the sensations in our bodies, and the emotions we are experiencing. Being present allows us to develop a deeper appreciation for our lives and the people in them.

The past has already been written and can’t be undone. Anything the past produces, good or bad, is already set to make an impact, and no way to go back and change how things went and how things could be done differently.

Inversely, we don’t know what the future holds, for it is not yet written. So what happens a year, a month, tomorrow, or even the next couple of hours from now is all up to fate and the actions and choices we make right now in the present.

There are two thoughts to this. First, embrace what has happened and accept the consequences in the current moment, and then use your will and judgment to dictate how those consequences impact you right now to steer the ship where you want towards the future. You may not know where the boat is going with your actions, but if the intent and your virtues steer the ship, the chances towards growth and a better life are within reach.

But then again, you can’t get hung up on how this impacts the future since you don’t know what the future looks like. And that’s okay. Let now be the time to pay attention to and live according to your morals and what you want out of life.

Life will figure itself out in the end and be the ultimate deciding factor in what happens, but at least you’ll know that you did your absolute best and were fully intent on every action and decision you made in what you can control: the present.

The Best Kind of Revenge

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” - Marcus Aurelius

My life has been littered with bullies and with people who attempt to do wrong to me. People who enjoy bringing others down in order to lift themselves up and feel superior then to those around them.

Whether it was at the playground or at the workforce looking to showcase my flaws and weaknesses, I always believed that the best way to handle these kinds of people is to fight back, to hit harder than they hit me.

As the old saying goes, to fight fire with fire.

And that may be true, but perhaps it is a different kind of fire. A fire not of anger or resentment, but of wanting to lead by example and showcase what qualities are supposed to be on display even in these difficult situations.

I would hear versions of this growing up as a catholic of phrases like turn the other cheek and love your enemies. All beautiful sayings but was difficult for me to understand what I was supposed to do next. Yes, I should forgive those that have done me wrong, but how and what do I do after I have forgiven someone?

To not be like them.

To find the alternative to their anger and negative energy and flip it on them with compassion and kindness. By putting this kind of positive energy into the world, you are combating the fear and division that the other is creating and allowing good to triumph over evil.

This is not to say that you should be doing this to prove someone wrong or to showcase someone else’s flaws. You should be doing this because you WANT to do this. Because it is within your nature to be kind and caring for others.

One last thought on the person you are looking to “take revenge” on, the vast majority of people who hurt someone hurt themselves. Negative energy spreads fast and if someone is being mean or unkind to you, that is probably because someone else was being mean and hurtful to them and they are just passing it on to you. Not with intent, but as a way to funnel that anger into something or into someone else.

This is by no means an excuse, but this fact should give you the empathy needed to be there for the person rather than against them. To know that they are hurting too and these hurtful moments are cries for help.

Take care of those around you and if you see someone treat you poorly, be a vessel for them to open up and respond with love and generosity. They need it a lot more than you think.

You Must Endure

"Through endurance we conquer." - Ernest Shackleton

All of us will face hardship in our lives. From bad breakups to death in the family, from the betrayal of a friend to a car accident, every one of us goes through the troubles and difficulties that life will bring upon all of us at one point or another. For some, it feels like all they go through is one challenge after another. The moment one ends, it seems, another one is waiting to rear its ugly head at you, waiting to attack you when your guard is down and ready to make your life seem even more impossible.

Through these moments, however, we must face the fact that highs and lows in life are like the weather outside your front door. There will be days of stormy weather, intense wind, and crackling thunder, ready to battle your home and safety. But through those days of darkness comes the rays of light that life also brings to those who endure the struggles that it faces. The bright sun beaming down your face as you walk out to check the damage. The birds chirping on the trees that weren't blown down welcome you and your neighbors to a new day. The fact that your house stood against the forces of nature, with you coming out the other end of it, is okay.

You are okay.

Endurance doesn't mean you don't care what happens to you or can't admit you are in a tight spot. We all go through that. It's the understanding that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and the ones who make it out of the challenges and walk through that tunnel emerge more robust and better than before the obstacle came their way. There may be damage and some scars that need healing, and you should tend to your wounds, but not without also accepting that you are still here, you are still around, and you are not going down without a fight.

We endure because it is built into all of us as humans. Whether through divine intervention or the biology of survival, we are programmed to hold down our fort and brace whatever struggles and hardships await us. Your struggles may differ significantly, but we are all made to stand firm on our own two feet, dig in, and stand ready, knowing that outside of life or death situations, we will come out of this alright. Those who handle these struggles the best through endurance will come out of it knowing more about themselves and their capabilities. They will get first-hand knowledge and experience in the battles that life brings to our doorstep, as well as the feeling of victory and triumph when they face the battle head-on and can stand on their own.

No one is saying this will be easy, this whole life thing, because it isn't. It never has been throughout human history and most likely never will be. But, if you look at the full scope of life, its wonder and beauty even in the darkest of moments, its connection to the rest of the world, and how each of us plays some part in the grand story of history, then you will know that this too is a part that you must play into the best of your ability. You were made for this; you will be able to conquer all that this world can give you, and you will stand among the mightiest of warriors throughout human history.

Limit Your Inputs

Our world is filled with noise and ideas that, while extremely helpful, can cause clutter and chaos in our minds when we try to distill them into practical usage in our lives.

Being in charge of your information diet is critical in finding control and stillness in your day-to-day activities while applying what you have learned to something concrete and meaningful.

We are afraid of the silence. We are fearful of looking stupid. We are scared of missing out. We are afraid of being the bad guy who says, ‘Nope, not interested.’

It is okay to say no. It is OK to put down your phone and think silently.

Leaders need time for reflection, self-discovery, and understanding their thoughts, as well as how to apply them effectively into their daily lives.

True power comes from the ability to say no. True freedom comes from the discipline of solitude and fortitude and not being rattled by every notification or every piece of noise our tools and technology give up at a rapid rate every single day.

The world is going to spin whether you disconnect or not. Make yourself and your time the priority, and do not have others at the forefront of your mind.

Replace time doom-scrolling with journaling. Substitute checking your emails every hour by reading a few pages of a new book. Step away from the 24/7 news cycle and go for a walk.

Every one of these habits that our technology has given us can be replaced with behavior that bolsters curiosity, understanding, and, most importantly, time back for ourselves.

Reducing distractions in your immediate environment increases your ability to choose where your attention goes, improves your concentration, bolsters creative thinking, and makes you less susceptible to impulsive acts and poorly thought-out decisions.

To quote Herbert Simon, “A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”

Be content not to know everything. It will pay off with self-mastery, and the skills and ideas you put the time and energy into are now more fleshed out and valuable because you say no to what doesn't matter.

Take charge, focus in, and find your stillness.

Lead Yourself

Everybody wants to be a leader in some form or another. Maybe you like to be a leader within your company and grow as a unified company. Maybe you want to lead your team in achieving their goals and ambitions. Maybe you want to lead your community with initiatives and events to boost your neigh’s sense of self and value. Or maybe you are a parent looking to lead your kids to a better future with activities and lessons that can be passed down from generation to generation.

All of these causes are noble and of good nature. Everyone should have at least one of these as their goals for the future and something to work on every day.

The way to work on it? By first being a leader of yourself

Leadership development is self-development, expressing yourself fully. For you to be a leader among many, you must first become a leader of one. Applying the lessons, virtues, and behaviors you want to instill into others by instilling them in your everyday life and setting the example for others to replicate and follow down the road.

Be a model for the way that you want to get things down for your team, for your community, and for your family.

Demonstrate what you want people to be and do—actualizing your optimal potential.

Want people to be more patient towards others? Offer that same patience to those around you. Do you like them to be more forward-thinking and offer solutions rather than just problems that must be fixed? Be upfront with your ideas and make it a mission not to come to someone with an issue unless you know how to solve it.

People follow the messenger before the message. Be the beacon, the guide, the compass for growth and prosperity by being that same light to your inner self and outward behavior.

Then, when the time is right, you can apply those lessons and experiences to wherever you are needed for others around you.

You will be more equipped, better prepared, and ready to face any obstacles and challenges that come with your chosen role.

Lead yourself to the compelling future you have created.

Courtesy Towards All

Leadership requires many critical ideas and principles to guide us toward the right path of progress and achieving our goals.

Patience, humility, hard work, resilience, wisdom, caring, vision, empathy, integrity, empowerment, and more.

These are all super important topics for another day, but I think one principle doesn’t get the attention it deserves: courtesy.

Probably because it is taken for granted or assumed by the masses, but it says a lot about someone being kind towards others and respectful to anyone they interact with.

This can be how you treat your teammates and people who work for you. Or how you treat your competition and those in other businesses against yours.

This can even be how you talk to and view the person there to clean your building space or the janitor who comes in once a week to mop up the mess that has been made.

We are all trying to get through life with the tools and resources we have. Some have more than you; some have less.

Regardless of status, position, or title, we must all treat everyone with the same courtesy and kindness we want others to give us.

To start receiving that, however, you must first give it to those in your life, whether they have been with you for yours or are strangers you are meeting for the first time; courtesy must be consistently implemented.

With courtesy, you gain stronger relationships, a better reputation, and good character that will serve you well as you experience life’s ups and downs.

But it has to be authentic. People can tell when you are not being genuine as soon as you utter your first word.

Being courteous isn’t a sales tactic or a trick up your sleeve. It is something you are as a person and must embody every day with the people you meet along your journey.

It must be natural. Never artificial.

Take time to see where you can be kinder to others and respectful to your team and your community.

Courtesy, now and always.